Edith and I had a petite contretemps this week. Even though she calls me “my sole master, my chief” and other seemingly respectful titles when I’m directing our virtual shopping expeditions, I had the distinct feeling she was being a tad “fresh” with me as my mother constantly accused when I was a child. In other words, Edith is showing disturbing signs of dangerous fashion daring. She even went so far as to obliquely suggest I should “break-out” of my traditional chains from time to time.
When she pointed out the multi-gathered velvet Chloe trousers — being black and all I guess she thought she could trick me — would be a great choice for us, before I could stop myself I squealed: “Are you out of your mind?”
Then I remembered: “You idiot, you don’t know how to keep a crayon inside the lines of a coloring book let alone draw something, your virtual shopping days could be over.” I quickly composed myself, apologized and made a counter offer: “You take the pants; I’ll take the top.”
She was laughing so hard she almost tipped over her paint box. She took the hip-enhancing pants back to her closet and paired them with a short-sleeved satin blouse. I took the Lurex striped top and pulled out my trusty black satin evening pants which you have seen on many occasions. To tell you the truth I probably would have added my tuxedo jacket to the ensemble, but I wanted you to see all the details.
(Another problem — I am simply mentioning this in passing — Edith drew the top outside (!) of my trousers and belted it. Now I ask you, if I were doing everything in my power to avoid the pants, why would I put horizontal strips around my hips? Exactly. We didn’t need to go to the virtual couturier to add more virtual material to the outfit as we did a week ago, this problem was neatly remedied, i.e. quickly “tucked-in” by a few strategic swishes of our new black paint.)
Pictured at the top is the sumptuous bordeaux Miu Miu skirt we both would wear in a second if we weren’t on a virtual buying spree or a real world budget. As you know, I choose the clothes before we (virtually)head back to our armoires to add our own separates to finish the looks, so please take note: There is not the slightest nuance of black in my creation. Ah, ha — so there Edith(!)
She put hers with a red Saint Laurent jacket and once again the boots she intends to buy, but has yet to find. Mine is topped with three ultra, ultra thin layers: a deep V silk/cashmere sweater over a red silk blouse over a lacy camisole in the wine family. I don’t own the deep prune opaque tights, but I guarantee if I owned the skirt, I’d buy the tights.
We both decided, almost without uttering a word between us, the open blouse bra look might have been in our pasts, but definitely had no place in our present or future.