Last week, in Cherie’s weekly column, some of you may have noticed that one reader felt Cherie had crossed the line — I don’t know whether she considered it a fine line, or one thicker and more radical — between her renowned sophistication and a mucky barnyard posture.
To my horror and chagrin, she remarked that Cherie was beginning to sound more and more like Miss Piggy!
You can well imagine my disappointment, my shock, my sleepless nights.
Let’s get this on the record, so you know where I stand on the reader’s position: I love Miss Piggy! I always have and at one point we had a few things in common. I, like she, did not know when or where to use moi and je. I have since corrected this lingual misunderstanding while she continues to mangle the language. But, that is part of her undeniable charm.
If I disappoint you with this avowal, I will have to live with it.
I have met Miss Piggy. Many years ago we spent a couple of delicious hours together discussing the finer points of glamour, elegance, pearls, jewels in general, stardom, the paparrazzi, and the most heart-rendering of all — because she was so delicate and honest — the difficulty in being involved in a inter-species relationship.
Yes, it was an interview, and one I have never forgotten. I have long lost the clips from my story so I am obliged to tell you about our rendez–vous from memory.
As I said, I was one of Miss Piggy’s great fans and, as a fashion editor, decided it would be fun — no important — to interview her on her approach to style as a “full-figured” woman. Once I met her I didn’t mention the full-figure part because her personality was so delightful and compelling that all I saw was an icon (perhaps slightly over-dressed) dripping in accessories.
It was one of the most fun interviews of my entire career. One of her “handlers” took me for a tour in the back rooms, but the late Jim Henson, creator of Miss Piggy, her pals and her paramour, Kermit, forbade anyone from seeing his cast in disassembled parts. He believed, I was told, that if we only saw a leg, or a head, or an arm, or a hoof or a webbed foot, we would no longer be capable of making the magic leap of faith to believe in his characters.
I did, however, see her extensive, extravagant wardrobe, and enviable collection of accessories. For Miss Piggy, I would have to say her approach to fashion has always been, “bring it on — more is more is more.”
To substantiate my position in her defense, let me share a few “pearls” from the pig who didn’t feel dressed unless she was dripping in them. Some of these we might take to heart (Cherie are you listening?):
1.) There is only one gift you should accept on your first date — diamonds.
2.) Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?
3.) Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men.
4.) Moi speaks body language fluently, although with a slight French accent.
5.) You have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.
6.) Express your feelings all the time, unless you’re trying to hide something.
7.) Never eat more than you can lift. [Ed. Note: Interesting diet tip.]
8.) I never cringe at what I’ve worn. I simply try to look past the clothes to see moi’s inner beauty, which remains timeless and younger looking every year. And, if that doesn’t work, I try to destroy all the pictures.