When I decided to start blogging I had no idea how to execute my momentous decision. So, I did what any ignorant person might do. I bought two paperback guides to help me fathom this terrifying new adventure.
My niece did all the basic set-ups and then I turned to my how-to books to see what one should offer on her fledgling blog. Of course I knew the subject, but I was convinced these books would give me an “edge”– you know, in the old-fashioned sense of the word as opposed to “edgy”. . .
|Hmmm, “plain English”. . . I missed this one. Maybe it’s not too late.|
Within the pages of the techie code speak, which I could not and will never be able to understand, were a few tidbits in real language which the editors must have insisted be included in order to push sales up to a few hundred copies. This is where I learned the most important rules of the game:
1.) Do not tell your potential readers what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner — nobody cares.
2.) Try to write well.
3.) Tip: Typing words in all caps reduces reading speed by 10% and can put readers off by giving the appearance of shouting. (Well, HELLO!, that’s what all caps were designed to do.)
4.) Keep paragraphs short.
5.) Try not to be depressing.
6.) Stay focused. (Whatever.)
7.) Do not write a post explaining to potential readers why you are not writing a post.
I am about to break rule number seven. Yes, I shall now tell you why this is not a real post today. It’s because: when I click on “Publish” I’m off to meet my great friend Pseu creator of the delightful blog Une Femme for lunch, gossip and shopping. These excursions are an annual event.
It’s true, I probably should have written a real post last night but I had a large glass of Chablis and I figured I would have broken rule six and probably two as well.