|Mirror, mirror. . .|
We’ve all done it. In fact, I think women are the masters of the task. Many of us could probably teach a master class on the subject. Reinvention. Starting over. Re-accessing and re-creating. Sometimes we like change and search for new adventures, other times we have no choice. Circumstances force us to re-think and re-boot.
Today my friend D.A. Wolf, brilliant writer and philosophical thinker tells us about her foray into the unknown. . .
I stand in front of the mirror and ask: How many times must a woman start over?
I take a breath and then I respond: As many times as we choose, or as many as it takes.
Is there a woman of a certain age who hasn’t done it – at least once? Isn’t it a matter of roles, of rolling with the punches, of determination? Isn’t it a matter of survival as life moves us through stages and challenges? Of facing ourselves newly – and refusing to hide?
At 40, I was a married mother of two little boys, with a traveling husband and my own career. But just a few years later I found myself divorced, out of a job, and on my own with two young children.
I was a mess. They were a mess. Talk about a need for reinvention!
They needed stability. I needed to pay bills. And eventually, I knew there was a “me” to recreate in the process.
My professional reinvention? It’s had its ups and downs, to be expected in this economy. But I’m proud of what I’ve learned, what and where I’ve published, and proud of what I’ve accomplished in a relatively short period.
Part of that accomplishment is due to blogging – specifically, Daily Plate of Crazy, which I started on a whim as “Big Little Wolf.” It was a means to process, well… everything. And I imagine it still is. What I couldn’t have imagined was the joy it would bring, the revelations about myself, and the extraordinary community I would “meet” – wonderful women, like Tish.
Incidentally, I chose to write semi-anonymously, as a matter of retaining some measure of privacy for myself and my sons. But both are now in college, and Irecently came out of “hiding” – if you’d like to pop by my new “official” site, please feel free.
What other thoughts could I share on reinvention?
Well, let’s be practical. There is inner work which is the most important. There are critical issues to do with healthy eating, as well as proper sleep and exercise. There is dealing with constraints if you have them, moving beyond them if you can, and accepting what you cannot change – if you truly cannot change it.
There are the energizing effects of pursuing our passions, and the positive impacts of the occasional style update. There are body image pressures that need to be dealt with like adults (the fat fake-out is serious business), and of course there’s fun for those of us who love fashion – tweaking our hair, trying a variety of styles, enjoying our perfume (I love my Chanel), and yes – hot shoes!
That’s not so easy. I was on and off the dating-go-round for years, and convinced I was past any hope of meeting a good man. Then one chance encounter a year ago led to an introduction, a date over drinks, and dare I say it… love.
The frosting on the cake? He’s French! And as Tish knows, I find French men irresistible!
At 50-something, I won’t pretend that I don’t feel a twinge of age, a jolt of fatigue, and have a few regrets when I look back. But most of the time, I try to look forward. And when I do feel overwhelmed or like I’m winding down, I return to the metaphorical mirror.
And I ask myself:
How many times must a woman start over?
And I respond:
As many as we choose, or as many as it takes.